Another day, another flanker, right? Or in Gucci's case, another five flankers in a collection entitled 'The Flora Garden'. Okay, so to get all bias to the left, much like the haters, I'll admit that I'm not one for flankers after the original best seller has already spawned a couple of somewhat related scent kin. Flora has only seen the release of Flora eau fraiche, a so-so, slightly greener and lighter version of the first Flora, which in turn I didn't mind too much despite its boringness, but think Versace Versus worked the same notes a lot better and harder.

So with five flankers at once, Gucci sure is pushing its luck with me. You've been warned.

Dude, this is some fruity business. Floral, my ass. Although the only fruit note listed is citrus zest, I can't even detect a single shaving of the sharpness you'd expect. I get a nose of Frosty Fruit ice-block, the pineapple and watermelon kind, heavy on the melon. Freesia slips in and rests on a very pale white musk base, along with a sweet peony. Any magnolia is MIA and the supposed chocolate note never shows. That artificial 'fresh green' note that featured in the original Flora is present throughout the life of the scent, and although it's not particularly unpleasant, it's just so plastic smelling. Not my kind of thing at all.

Official notes are listed as freesia, green leaves, citrus zest, peony, magnolia, musk, sandalwood, warm chocolate accord.

What up, Gorgeous Gardenia? With gardenia being one of my very favourite perfume notes ever, you never stood a chance, did you? You already know that I'm a fan of those grand old dames of white florals, those perfume institutions that are sometimes a little nana, but can still make a guy blush with their coy sexuality. You're nothing but a pale shadow, with your spun sugar, sweet honeysuckle and excess of pear and berry adding to the mainstay note of frangipani. If there's gardenia there, it's not the creamy rich lover I know and love. It's not your fault, Gorg, you're a perfectly ok fruity-floral for the DKNY Be Delicious market. You've just been labelled incorrectly. Flirty Frangipani is more your gig, and it stills fits in the garden line.

Official notes are red berries, pear, white gardenia, frangipani flower, patchouli, brown sugar accord.

And lastly, we come to Gracious Tuberose, my least favourite. I get hit with a burning soapy orange blossom assault, followed by the green Flora note again, topped up with something that smells like pink grapefruit, but is more likely the listed white cedarwood turned fruity by the peach and generic citrus. It's offensive in that it smells cheap, like a Glade spray, not even intended for personal wear.

Official notes are violet leaves, peach, tuberose, orange flower, citrus, rock rose and white cedarwood.

There are two other fragrances in the line, Generous Violet and Glorious Mandarin, which I haven't smelt yet and therefore cannot give my thoughts on, but what's with the random citrus?Also, something about the names is really bugging me. They are all so placid. Glorious is the only adjective I like, with Generous and Gracious the main offenders. I'm not suggesting that Gucci is grooming a generation of docile do-gooders, but they totally are there's a few different words with a bit more spirit to them that would make them at least seem more exciting.

This line is not for me at all (I understand if you're surprised, I've been so subtle about my feelings) but the Gucci brand always sells buttloads so I wouldn't be surprised if it does well on shelf. I haven't seen ad copy for the range yet, but the names and bottles seem to appeal to the teen that wants to been seen as sophisticated rather than juvenile. I know 16-year-old Michaela would have hoovered these up if she could afford them (then sadly turned to her Water Berry Australis spray).

They are meant to be available from early April, but I had the Gucci store sales assistant mention them to me that they will be in-store very soon, so I thought I would post my reviews know to warn inform y'all.